The Scolai

“Just a Good Guy…With a Few Bad Habits”

Flogging Molly Timeline Part 2

with 5 comments

8:00pm–The two opening bands are completely forgettable, other than the 300 pound woman who actually turned out to be a washboard virtuoso. That’s right the rhythm section of the second band consisted of drums and a washboard. The singer resembled either the old WWE wrestler “Hillbilly Jim,” or any number of people, male or female, found walking the streets of Milford Michigan on any given market day. Many more $7 beers and a shot or two of something I can’t recall. Hooligan and I make a reconnaissance of the main floor in front of the stage and see there will be plenty of people to push around once the mosh pit gets going. A good many are males in their late teens/early twenties who seem to be inordinately proud of their hairless, sunken chests. Steve the Brewer tells me I am to old for mosh pits. Remember that statement.

9:00 pm– Flogging Molly hits the stage and the kids start pushing. Hooligan and I start throwing some elbows and are soon separated as we lock onto different targets. It’s funny how kids today seem to think they invented the pit. My experience goes back to the late seventies Detroit punk scene. Trust me, things were a lot less forgiving then. Through the crowd, I see Dr. Hooligan putting on an extension course of the Hooligan School of Moshing. These kids don’t realize the value they are getting is better than a Pell Grant. A girl who could be, and reminds me of, my oldest daughter, falls in front of me and in trying to keep her from being trampled, I am basically knee capped by one of the people around us. While in a vulnerable position, someone also cracks me on the noggin raising a golf ball sized lump. I get the girl to her feet and limp back to our table. I notice DOTW, Steve the Brewer, and Ol’ Don at the table. Ron and Young Jake seem to have decamped for the ladies room. This is strange for Ron, usually when I come out to take a break I find him sleeping. DOTW thinks we should have him checked for narcolepsy. I chug a beer and turn to head back down when I am confronted by Steve the Brewer who says: “I’m 46 and I’ve never been in a mosh pit.” I tell him it’s now or never, as we both wade into the fray. 5 minutes later, I have to explain the cardinal rule: You don’t fire on friendlies! At any rate, he held his own and did well for a 46 year old novice.

11:30 pm– The show ends and we head for the Wartabago intending a quick exit as most of us were working the next day. My clothes were damp with sweat as we exited into the aforementioned 10 degree evening. While cold, it was most likely a blessing for those around me. After spending an hour or so in an active mosh pit, one develops a smell that can only be compared to that of someone leaving an all night orgy at Plato’s Retreat– at the height of the disco era.  When we arrived at the station, three cars were parked across the entrance, in a marked no parking zone, blocking our exit. Young Jake goes into the station to see if anyone there knows who owns the Suburban that is making our exit impossible. DOTW, Hooligan and myself contemplate breaking all the glass, ripping open the steering column and pushing the offending vehicle into the street, Steve the Brewer and Ol’ Don head across the street to a bar and proceed to get hammered, Ron climbs in the Wartabago and falls asleep (we just may have to have him tested for narcolepsy).

12:30 am–Still waiting. No one in the station knew who owned the vehicle, but since it had an IAFF sticker we decided to leave it intact. A cop shows up and offers to have it towed. Just when we think we are getting out of there an off duty member of the DFD shows up, hears what is going on, and runs in the station to prevent it. He comes outside with the station lieutenant who says he doesn’t want the vehicle towed because it may belong to one his guys. The cop agrees not to tow it. The Lieutenant goes back in the station. Off duty bitch boy makes the mistake of telling Young Jake “We has diffint rules down here than all y’all in the country.” He’s not much in the mosh pit, but Young Jake is developing a mean streak I really admire. Off Duty Bitch Boy should be making novenas to DOTW for saving him from the ass whipping he had in store had Young Jake been allowed to continue on course.

01:30 am–Still waiting. Steve the Brewer and Ol’ Don call me to meet them across the street. I hope the guy with the Suburban isn’t hooked up with one of the many transvestite hookers that seem to infest the area. Actually, if it wasn’t a time issue, I hope he is. It would serve the rat bastard right. Steve the Brewer and Ol’ Don seem to have become fast friends with a large group of patrons. Ol’ Don pulls me aside and slurs: “He doshent get out to mush, and thash a goo thing. HA HA HA!!!” I get an ice water and talk to a couple of people who happen to live near me. Yeah, I said “ice water.” By this point I was not only bone tired, but also completely dehydrated.

01:45 am– Hooligan calls me and says “We’re leaving. You got 2:oo or you guys are walking. Great, now I have round these two up and roll them toward the door. Steve the Brewer makes this task more difficult by insisting on bidding farewell to each of his new pals. I manage to get them out the door and into the street just as the Wartabago pulls up. We’re on our way.

Highlights of the return trip? Ol’ Don lurching from the back of the Wartabago and crashing head first into the dash. DOTW and I having to hold Ol’ Don in place at every stop and start. Ron sleeping through this and Steve the Brewer’s repeated calls to “turn it up!!” And of course Ol’ Don’s header from the side door of the Wartabago onto Young Jake’s driveway. Good thing it was covered with about 4″ of snow or Ol’ Don may have really gotten hurt.

All in all, minus the dickhead with the Suburban, it was a typical night for one of these shows and a great example of why we get together for them whenever we have the chance.

STREET DOGS at The Majestic on April 18th!

Scolai

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Written by thescolai

February 17, 2008 at 6:29 pm

5 Responses

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  1. To bad you already gave Don and Steve some names I was going to suggest “Crash” and “Stache” as in Mustache……pity.

    HOOLIGAN

    February 18, 2008 at 7:29 am

  2. I second the motion on the floor for “crash” and “Stache”

    Young Jake

    February 18, 2008 at 10:00 pm

  3. Motion Approved. All further posts will reference “Crash”and “Stache.”

    thescolai

    February 18, 2008 at 10:15 pm

  4. Getting a little old for that shit…aren’t you boy ???

    Dad

    William Hampton

    February 19, 2008 at 8:38 am

  5. WHHOOOOOO I finally got a motion approved!!!!!!!

    Hooligan

    February 19, 2008 at 12:51 pm


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