The Scolai

“Just a Good Guy…With a Few Bad Habits”

Sitting a Horse

with 8 comments


In less than three weeks I will be joining my brother (Hampton On) and a couple of other guys on a cattle drive in Wyoming and Montana. This is something I have always wanted to do and I can’t thank Bill enough for making it possible.

In preparation for this trip I took my first horseback riding lesson. The Libs are accusing us of torturing prisoners at Gitmo? Funny, I haven’t seen the pictures of terrorist scum bags on horseback so I’d say they are being treated pretty well.

My daughter and I went to the barn where she takes lessons. Her trainer is one of our closest friends so I thought this would be simple, she’ll take it easy on me and I’ll be able to tell myself that I had ridden prior to our trip. I had no idea that the simple act of sitting a horse could hurt so much. I have ridden motorcycles for years, but even dirt bikes on the roughest track didn’t come close to the soreness I feel.

Starting at the bottom, my ankles are sore from turning my feet into the stirrups. My knees have shooting pains every time I bend my legs. My groin is so sore that I can’t walk normally. My testicles feel like they’ve been through a 3 set tennis match, and I have blisters between my butt cheeks. This is after just ONE hour.

So for the rest of this evening, its Motrin, an Icy Hot back patch, some Gold Bond Powder, a few PBR’s, and The Shield. I’m going back next Tuesday, hopefully by then I’ll be healed. On a motorcycle, an “Ironbutt” ride is 1000 miles in 24 hours. My personal best is a little over 900. If tonight is any indication of how I’ll feel after a 70 mile cattle drive, I think I’ll stick to bikes.



Written by thescolai

April 18, 2007 at 5:21 am

8 Responses

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  1. LMAO!!! Seriously, you got the blisters BETWEEN your butt cheeks too! I thought that would be exclusive to me. 6 days in the saddle baby!

    Bill Hampton

    April 18, 2007 at 1:25 pm

  2. I am just sitting here, shaking my head and smiling. I knew this trip was going to be fun, but oh, it is going to be an absolute riot. Between you and Bill, I will probably have trouble staying on my horse because of the violent laughter you will both induce…

    Jamie George

    April 18, 2007 at 1:49 pm

  3. Jamie,
    Good to hear from you! I told Bill I am fast becoming a fan of Gold Bond Medicated Powder. = )


    April 18, 2007 at 1:55 pm

  4. Cuz,
    Hey I remember many years ago we got in a fight coming home from the hockey game, well we were outnumbered 3 to 1. After, we found Billy under the backseat of the van. So if a rabbit or or a snake happens to cross your trail on the cattle drive and Bill comes up missing? Look under the horse or in the ladies room

    Big G


    April 18, 2007 at 3:21 pm

  5. Geno,
    I remember that night…Hey, back then 3 to 1 was good odds if you were around. I’d say more but its hard enough for me to type when I’m not fallin’ down laughing!


    April 18, 2007 at 5:47 pm

  6. I was 6! Cut me some slack!!!

    Bill Hampton

    April 18, 2007 at 6:01 pm

  7. 87fbb706f485d555ccf76e773cd621af


  8. i am forgett something here


    July 17, 2009 at 10:57 pm

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