The Scolai

“Just a Good Guy…With a Few Bad Habits”

In Response to Natalie Maines

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Printed below are my responses to selected statements made by Natalie Maines of The Dixie Chicks at Monday nights Grammy Awards show. 


Above: Natalie Maines searches for the hidden Twinkie

“I think people are using their freedom of speech tonight with all of these awards,”
Maines said, as the group accepted the final award of the ceremony, Album of the year.

Not “People”, you corpulent cupcake, the Recording Academy . The “Peoples” freedom was expressed in your album receiving no Country Radio airplay, and in its dismal #38 position on the charts. 

“That’s interesting,” Maines crowed from the podium after the country award was handed out earlier in the night. “Well, to quote the great ‘Simpsons’ – ‘Heh-Heh.’

Heh, Heh, Hell! And how dare you use the Simpsons in your pathetic attempt to make light of your warped world view.  You are supported by left wing members of the Recording Academy who wanted to put a figurative thumb in the eye of the Bush administration. You had no more right to win in the Country category than William Hung.

“Just kidding,” added Maines . “A lot of people just turned their TVs off right now. I’m very sorry for that.”

I doubt that people actually turned off their TV’s. If they are anything like me, they were fascinated at the thought of someone who sees a dozen Krispy Kremes as a mere prelude to a triple Lumberjack Slam breakfast, followed by a couple bags of Double Stuff Oreos, possibly having the energy to stand long enough to continue making an ass of herself.

I hope that Ms. Maines is not sick enough to take the results of a rigged awards show as a vindication of her treasonous actions, but sadly, I think she is.


P.S. Do you think she chose the dark hair color to make her head look slimmer? Didn’t work.


Written by thescolai

February 13, 2007 at 6:48 am

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