The Scolai

“Just a Good Guy…With a Few Bad Habits”

Ten Reasons You’re Probably NOT a Biker

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With the explosion in the last decade of Motorcycle shows on television, and all things Biker Culture in general, many people have bought bikes and attempted to purchase a lifestyle that you used to have to actually LIVE to get. Its amazing how easy it still is to spot a Wall Street type on a Road King (Think Discovery Channel guru Hugh “The Chopper King” King). Hey, I’m happy for anyone who wants to get out and get in the wind, and bikers are probably the most fun loving people you’ll ever meet. Some will find this hard to believe, but despite owning a $20,000 bike and few grand in leathers, You’re Probably NOT a Biker if:

If your 2500 mile oil change comes around every two years (or longer), you’re probably NOT a biker (You guys know who I’m talking about).

If you’ve ever missed a Boomer’s Bike Night because you didn’t have time to wash your bike, you’re probably NOT a biker.

If you’ve ever decided not to ride because it “might” rain, you’re probably NOT a biker.

If you’ve ever gotten a temporary tattoo at Fowlerville, you’re probably NOT a biker.

If the toe of your left boot isn’t somehow deformed from shifting, you’re probably NOT a biker.

If you’ve never swallowed a June Bug, had a Deer Fly go down your back and bite you on the butt, or pulled a Bumble Bee out of your left knee, or right testicle, (Now there’s a future post) at 75 MPH, you’re probably NOT a biker.

If you’ve ever left a bar because the barmaid wouldn’t make you an Amaretto Sour, you’re probably NOT a biker.

If, on a cold day, you’ve ever had to pull over to blow your nose, your probably NOT a biker. (Make sure you’re alone, or at the back of the pack when you try that maneuver)

If you’ve ever trailered your bike for any reason other than….well there is no reason to trailer a functional bike; Ever. You’re probably NOT a biker.

If you’ve ever seen a bike broken down on the side of the road and didn’t stop because you thought the owner looked “scummy,” Then you are DEFINITELY NOT a biker.

Scolai

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Written by thescolai

February 11, 2007 at 11:16 am

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